Monday, March 18, 2013

Happy now?

I realise I haven't written that much about me and my emotions of late. Of course this is deliberate because I have been toying with the idea of making my blog public (by which I mean putting a link on my Facebook) and I know for sure that if I allowed myself to spill out what goes on in my head then I'd lose a few friends. Not that that would be a bad thing, there are a few I would like to lose but I can't do so deliberately because of the family politics.  Another reason why I haven't been getting all angry is because I have been very deliberately not allowing myself to. I am attempting to change my mindset in a very deliberate way, to stop myself when I stray in to negative thinking, speak more positively, help people more and generally just be 'nice'. I have even gone as far as seeking out those mawkish 'inspirational quotes' and posting them on my Facebook. So far I have managed to mostly post stuff that is purely 'good' and happy, not even a hint of passive aggressive subliminal messaging. I see something I like that is about basically just being happy and accepting, and then I post it. I have also stopped myself (on numerous occasions) from passing on miserable gossip or opinion. I am hoping that by being positive, forcing myself to see the good in things and be good myself, I am becoming a sunnier person. Though I don't want to beat myself up continually; I do actually think I am quite a nice person overall.

I have a lot of stuff I need to do.. The allotment, potty training (arrrggh), de-cluttering, a stupid work audit that really should be the top of my priority list. I am so bloody lazy, need some motivation to get off my arse

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