Monday, March 18, 2013

Happy now?

I realise I haven't written that much about me and my emotions of late. Of course this is deliberate because I have been toying with the idea of making my blog public (by which I mean putting a link on my Facebook) and I know for sure that if I allowed myself to spill out what goes on in my head then I'd lose a few friends. Not that that would be a bad thing, there are a few I would like to lose but I can't do so deliberately because of the family politics.  Another reason why I haven't been getting all angry is because I have been very deliberately not allowing myself to. I am attempting to change my mindset in a very deliberate way, to stop myself when I stray in to negative thinking, speak more positively, help people more and generally just be 'nice'. I have even gone as far as seeking out those mawkish 'inspirational quotes' and posting them on my Facebook. So far I have managed to mostly post stuff that is purely 'good' and happy, not even a hint of passive aggressive subliminal messaging. I see something I like that is about basically just being happy and accepting, and then I post it. I have also stopped myself (on numerous occasions) from passing on miserable gossip or opinion. I am hoping that by being positive, forcing myself to see the good in things and be good myself, I am becoming a sunnier person. Though I don't want to beat myself up continually; I do actually think I am quite a nice person overall.

I have a lot of stuff I need to do.. The allotment, potty training (arrrggh), de-cluttering, a stupid work audit that really should be the top of my priority list. I am so bloody lazy, need some motivation to get off my arse

Friday, March 15, 2013


I would hope that everyone has heard about the awful events in Steubenville (USA) but if not you can read about it here or a shorter summary here on Jezebel. In short, highschool jocks sexually assault and possibly rape high school student then send videos, images and texts about it to their friends and post them online. The trial is taking place right now so it's getting a lot of newspaper coverage and as a result lots of comments from the usual idiots who say things like -

"Males can be frightening animals - they think with their private parts and only care about the consequences when they might get into trouble. Girls, please, please look after yourselves - it's a sad fact that it's a danger to be so drunk as a female - unfortunately, you never know what may happen to you. You have every right to be able to go out and have fun, but we still have to take care to be wary." Some Daily mail reading Idiot.

  For fuck's sake! Is this for real? So basically they are saying that because men just can't control themselves it's up to us 'females' to modify our behaviour to stop men from doing what they naturally do? Well - all the men I know (As far as I am aware anyway) are not the kinds of men who would ever sexually assault or rape someone. No one I know would see a woman who is asleep or drunk or incapacitated some other way and decide to 'take advantage' of the situation. This kind of attitude is not just shitty for women it's also really insulting to men. Why should women stop going out and having a good time just because some men are shits? Why should all men be branded as incapable of stopping themselves from assaulting women just because a few men are shitbag sexual deviants? Why does society generally push this idea that women have to take responsibility for other people's illegal behaviour? I am just so fed up with having to rant about this and also having to hear and read the excuses that are made about male behaviour which generally puts the blame on women. Can we just start being fucking sensible now please and get the message out that the only person who is to blame for rape is the rapist - not the woman! Never the woman.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

rape myths and apologists

Isn't it funny how differently things can be reported?
Well maybe 'funny' is not the word.

Rape investigations 'undermined by belief that false accusations are rife' - The GUARDIAN
False rape allegations devastating - The BBC

Surprisingly the Daily Mail have reported in a way that is most out of character !

However, from the comments you can see that still there are people determined to spread the myth that women are, en masse and consistantly, crying rape to get men into trouble, whilst ignoring the fact that there are thousands of reported rapes a year and over 5000 prosecutions. Shame on these misoginysts and whoever is raising them to perpetuate these rape myths.

Monday, March 04, 2013

World Book Day Costume terror

Arrghh - the Nursery have said that if we want to we can send in kids dressed as their favourite book character. What to do? So far, at 26 months old, my son's favourite book character is Maisy mouse. She's a girl but I don't think it matters. I found this which looks simple but I need to get hold of the fabric before Thursday and am in work all week. I guess this is just the begining of years of required costumes. i should start getting my sewing skills in order.

I had some other ideas

Gruffalo - I bet every child wants to be a Gruffalo.
Noddy He would LOVE this.


Here's what we did

Branding the potential victim to shame them.

This has really annoyed me. "Drunken students found stumbling through Cardiff are to be tagged with wristbands to act as a morning reminder of their dangerous binge-drinking. The wristbands will serve as a warning for hungover students, unable to remember the night before, of how vulnerable they became because of excess alcohol." Mostly it's the comment from PC Tim Davies who "warned that students were at risk of robberies and sexual offences due to their drinking habits.". PC Tim davies is the Police Student Liaison Officer for Cardiff and says his role is to work with partners to reduce the chance of students becoming victims of crime. He is also quoted as saying "“It goes from lone females who are just walking home to people who are heavily intoxicated and stumbling over the road. It might be pouring down with rain, freezing cold, and you have some young woman walking home with her shoes in her hands.” Clearly highlighting the fact that he believes young women are at more risk because of what they are wearing (or not wearing) rather than men, when I believe statistically young men are more likely to suffer violence from strangers. Young women are statistically more likely to be targeted by someone they know and in their own homes.

Personally I think that this kind of victim blaming does nothing to stop violent and sexual crimes, all it does is tell the victim that they are ultimately responsible for whatever happens to them. This initiative is apparently the brainchild of the Cardiff Student union Liaison Officer. South Wales police have pulled This kind of crap before, as have several other police forces.

Rape Crisis Scotland showed that it is possible to create a campaign that targets the right people - the rapist/abuser.