Wednesday, February 15, 2012

things on my mind...

1. I am becoming so bloody judgemental of all things to do with parenting. Anything that does not fit my way of doing things is wrong. I always was judgemental but now that it is all centred around one subject it's becoming scary. On the one hand I feel awful for feeling so disappoined in people who make certain parenting choices, on the other I actually feel I am 'right' to feel the way I do. Things I hate are early weaning, controlled crying, people giving their small children fizzy drinks, hitting cildren, dads wanting to bottle feed, telling children they are stupid, formula, routines, girls in pink, boys with guns, 'princess', 'little man'... the list goes on. Maybe I read or know too much? I am just forever asounded by the lack of basic knowledge on childcare issues that my friends have.

2. My boss doesn't know that I can request exceptional leave for my son's operation; she tells me that because the operation is planned I have to take annual leave. All my older workmates are shocked that I have not been given exceptional leave because over the years they have all had exceptional or domestic leave for children who have had hospital stays. I am considering calling in sick just to get those days back.

3. The operation is scaring me. My son has an undescended testicle, in fact they can't locate a testicle to bring down. In just over ten days he will be having a pretty routine operation to try to locate and bring down the testicle. It means an overnight stay for him and so for me. I am really scared about the anaesthetic and the after care. Poor little thing. Plus on the day I am not allowed to feed him (breastfeed or other food) after 7.30 am. I am really not looking forward to that.

4. My sister is having a shit time. She gave birth in a shit hospital and had a shit labour where she lost 4 pints of blood and had a third degree tear. Her daughter was given another baby's antibiotics by mistake and now she (my sister) is back in hospital because of retained placenta. It is 3 weeks after she gave birth and her midwife signed her off and dismissed the fact that she had terrible stomach pains. Between 2005 and 2008 six new mothers died in the hospital my sister gave birth in.

5. D's mum is here for 5 days and I will be in work for 3 of them which means my son will be in creche and so my mil won't be able to see much of him. My husbands wants his mum to have lots of time with her grandson. One solution would have been for him to take time off work and B to stay at home but this has never been suggested. I feel quite stressed out because my husband says he wants our son to see his grandmother but nothing has really been arranged to make that possible. I tend to keep my mouth shut as often when I do try to contribute I am accused of negativity. I just hope no one thinks it's me who's rubbish at planning?

6.  I really really hate the way women have become so obsessed with being hairless and being fake and tanned and big busted. I worry about how I can bring my son up to realise that those things are not right or normal.

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