Monday, September 12, 2011

Seven sleeps to go...

Or times that by ten to account for the times I will be woken by B (teething), the neighbour (wailing like a banshee along with Muse), snoring (Husband) or the people who moved in across the roads (general Chav behaviour + extra added dogs). For simplicity's sake let's just say seven sleeps to go until I am back in work. This is not as bad as it sounds because I have lots of holiday to use up so can do lots of half days plus I am looking forward to the break! What I mean is I am a bit tired of being the 24/7 baby entertaining machine and it's going to be nice for someone else to take the strain.

Mind You, I am scared about B going into the creche. I am lucky because it's a 2 minute walk from work, I can go and breastfeed if I want and it's highly thought of and subsidised. However I hate the idea that for something like 43 hours a week B will be separated from me and I will only see him for a short while in the morning and evening. How the hell will I adjust to being back at work, or more to the point how the hell am I going to ajust to not haing a snooze at 11am and 3pm?

I took him in to the creche today to start his settling in with a very gentle one hour with the other babies and me. On Thursday we leap forward to 2 hours with the other babies and without me. I say babies, all I could see were six foot marauding child beasts who wanted to touch his face and perhaps more sadly seemed to all want to play with me - the obvious 'mummy'in the room. I saw babies pressed up against the door crying, babies sitting on the floor playing peek-a-boo with themselves and jammed into bumbos. I am sure I was just looking for the bad and that there was plenty of good going on but it made me sad all the same. I want to work, I am looking forward to it but I really do need to win the lottery this weekend so I can stay at home and continue to have a life. It seems I am stuck between working and having a bit of money and a bit of life or becoming a stay at home mum who only has a child centred life and no money to fund it. So off to work I will go.

How have I been preparing? Well I have spent the last few weeks decluttering, car booting and basicaly attempting to run a tight ship or at least get myself to a point where I can think about it. My plan is that I will have clothes ironed and laid out for me and B, food made for lunches and then a stress free morning should follow. To do this I need clear decks and so this is why I have thrown away most of my clothes, some of my books (gasp) and a lot of my clutter. It makes sense but it's slow work as I can only really throw stuff about when B is at my mum's on a Wednesday. Talking of that, it's been going much better and he's been going there from 9am to 4 or 5 for a few weeks now.

What other news. My sister is still pregnant and we are getting new windows. Husband has started his new job and excercising every lunchbreak - perhaps my dream of him losing weight and stopping the snoring is not so unlikely after all.

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