Sunday, August 22, 2010

There is nothing I can say...

...to make this journey easier for my sister. I do keep telling her to remember that all her tests have come back so much better than mine ever did, that at 42 she has better chances than I do to conceive naturally although since she discovered a blocked tube perhaps that is not really entirely true. I wish I didn't know so much about infertility because I feel like I could give loads of advice but really I shouldn't be because I know better than anyone that advice is useless and doesn't help. Either she will get pregnant or she won't. She came to see me today and I could see that all she was thinking about was not being able to get pregnant. It's just really sad and I can't help in any way. I am pretty sure that the recent news from V has effected her too. She is in the same 'why everyone else but me' territory as I was a year ago.

This weekend has been another lazy one, apart from the fact that I was up early both days because of D's snoring plus we had M here so the house felt rather full. Is it wrong of me to be really looking forward to when we have the baby and having guests will be impractical? I went to see my friend R yesterday to celebrate her 40th birthday.  I was 'the pregnant one' so most of the conversations I had were about the bump, the due date, the lack of morning sickness and the strangeness of being a first time mum. Rachel is kind of my oldest friend, or at least the person I have kept in touch with the longest. We were freinds at school though I am not sure we were best friends as I never really had a best friend. I feel a bit separate from her life as she has been marrid for years, lived away and has 2 kids. we have seen a lot more of eachother since she moved back; I have lunch with her every couple of weeks. Our friendship is a bit like two strangers who see a lot of eachother. We are getting to know eachother again but we never really have the time.
Today has just been a lazy day, though D did put a load of stuff into the roof and K and T came to see us. It's almost midnight and I am shattered.

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