Friday, July 23, 2010

Everything is baby related

Or rather everything isn't. It just seems that everyone thinks all I want to talk about is babies or children. If I update my facebook then I get a string of replies all relating to baby stuff. if I can't sleep it's because of the baby, if I am tired then it's the baby, if it's anything else then it's the baby! I am aware that I am also talking about it quite a lot but it seems that once you announce a pregnancy it is all anyone thinks you want to talk about. That and people thinking being pregnant means you are madly interested in their babies or children.

I am being over-sensitive for sure; my emotions are going into overdrive. On the other hand I feel like it's not an excuse, certainly not for other people as in that 'oh it's just your emotions' thing when I am genuinely upset about something like their behaviour.

We had the 20 week scan yesterday which was brilliant as we hd a trainee who took ages giving us loads of time to look at the baby, plus the person training him did it all again afterards just to double check. We were also given about 10 photographs. All is well with the baby, no noticible problems, which is a relief. D thinks he saw a penis, I think I may have too - though we decided not to find out the sex.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

baby stuff

I think I can feel the baby. I am not sure because I just don't know what it is meant to feel like but after about a week or so of little fluttery pops I think I can now accept that this is definitely the baby. I don't know if this means the baby is thrashing about or if it's just that it's wibbling about a bit but I am quite excited to finally admit I feel something.

I have my 20 week scan a week Thursday - the anomaly scan. We also still have the more detailed report to come back after the Amnio. It's been 2 weeks now so I am hoping we get it soon. I feel pretty confident that all will be ok and that if anything is wrong it will be mendable or copable with. Downs syndrome was my biggest fear I suppose. Now I feel like this is really going to happen and I am almost half way through so on the home strait.

I feel quite big, stupidly so because I know I am not really. I think compared to people who had good muscle tone to begin with I am probably a bit on the large side but I shouldn't worry about it. I do think sometimes about how I am going to get my body back into shape after the baby is born, specially as I am not that good at excercise and presumably just won't have the energy. We'll see, perhaps I just won't care.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

All is well

I am almost 18 weeks though the hospital would put me nearer 19. I have had my due date changed from 15th to 11th and then at the Amnio to 8th which is impossible so I am sticking to the 13th which is the correct date going by the egg collection date. So... everything is fine. After the Nuchal scan we decided to have the Amnio which was a 2 week wait. In the meantime we went to Glastonbury Festival which was hot hot hot! I had a pretty miserable time really, just because it was so bloody hot! Saw some of the bands I wanted to and spent a lot of time seeking shade. I guess Pregnancy makes everything more difficult and it's made me think twice about taking a baby next year. We'll see.

So the Amnio was fine, not painful and not as scary as I thought. I did all my freaking out about it in the week before Glastonbury and then was calm as anything when they did it. The consultant (The same guy who did the Nuchal scan and who would charge £400 on the NHS) even commented on how calm I was. My thinking was that while you're lying on a table waiting for a needle to be put into your abdomen, it's probably the wrong time to start freaking out. We had the preliminary results the next afternoon. D called me while I was driving back from seeing my mum so I parked up at Asda and called him back. My first response was 'are you sure?'. I am so happy and relieved. We now have to wait for the fuller report which looks for things beyond Downs and Edwards Syndrome but it was those chromosonal things I was most worried about. I have maintained an openess about all this with most people but there was one person I felt I couldn't talk to about it as she had been very open about her dislike of ante-natal testing. it meant that I didn't really speak to her for three weeks while I went through it all. I've told her now and she's been great, though didn't ask me what I would have done had it been a bad result. My other friend, lis, was really helpful as she chose to have an Amnio with her third. She also works in a special needs school so can see it all from the perspective of someone who deals with special needs every day and who also deals with the parents of kids with special needs. She told me not to worry or think about other people's opinions as it was only mine which counted in this case. My mum was also very supportive and was thrilled when I told her the results. She is now setting about making me a patchwork quilt for the baby and her partner Barry is making us a crib.

I have started buying things, just small things like baby grows and newborn nappies. I still don't feel like I have a baby in me but I do feel like I can plan a bit more now. I have also really started pouring over the books I have as I know nothing about babies. Or at least last week I didn't. I have a really helpful book called the baby book which is great for someone like me who has very limited (non-existant!) experience of babies. I'm also doing a lot of reading up on breastfeeding because I am determined to do it successfully for at least 6 months. So now is the time when I have to start thinking about finances and maternity leave and how all that is going to work out. I have my health and safety thing next week in work and will then need to inform the relevant people of the dates I plan to leave etc. I have already contacted the work Creche and hope that I would return to work in Aug/Sept 2011. Expensive business though!

D's mum called the other day to ask if it was ok for her to knit some things for the baby. Of course it is. She then mentioned a Christening gown and although I should have just said 'we won't be having a Christening' I didn't know what to say apart from 'oh, right'. Maybe she got from my tone of voice that I wasn't that keen. I will have to tell her that there is no way I will be having a Christening, or a naming ceremony.

The other issue is the one of visits over Christmas. I have had to make it clear to D that I don't want anyone here in the house from my Due date as I don't want to risk going into labour with someone here. Nor do I want anyone staying right after the birth. D's mum is going to rent a cottage, possibly for 2 weeks, she has said she would like us to go to the place she is renting for Christmas Dinner which I will be fine with so long as the baby is older than a week by 25th. If the baby comes late then I won't want to go anywhere as I will be in bed concentrating on breastfeeding and sleeping and recovering from whatever has happened to my body after the birth. D seems to understand this. If the baby has come on time or early and we do go then I have also told him that I will only want to stay a few hours and won't want to stay overnight. Hopefully he will realise once the baby is here that everything will have to revolve around what I and the baby need rather than what his mother wants. I also have to cancel Christmas with my mum because I can see it would be nice for D's mum to have all her family together for the first time in years.

So - we have all that to sort out and I really hope that I am given the time as a family to get used to the fact that I have had a baby. we will need bonding time and recovery time.