Wednesday, March 03, 2010

what fresh hell is this?

Firstly Asda are going to be selling fertility drugs blog about it here.  I thought I would link to that blog as it is a good commentry and sums up how I feel. Interesting that Wal-Mart don't do the same in the USA though.

Secondly I stop the pill tomorrow and have my baseline scan on Tuesday. It is all becoming real, this time next week I may well be an expert injector. I am more and more scared as each day goes by. D has given up beer and is generally detoxing, I am trying to be calm and not get stressed in work. My boss has come up with another hairbrained 'let's just chuck them all away' scheme, this time she wants to get rid of the Welsh language magazines because they are on a really high shelf and it's a health and safety issue. WTF? Her second idea was that we hide them in the vinyl room, also at a dangerous height but that will be ok because the danger won't be obvious and anyway who cares if the danger would effect just me?! Anyway - this means that I will be climbing ladders and reaching high spaces in the next few days while we re-locate the magazines. I guess it will be a distraction for me, I must get it all done before I start the treatment as I don't want to be risking anything bad happening on my 2WW.

Thirdly - what if my sister gets pregnant before me? This thought seems to be entering my head a little too often lately. I am on high alert for every facebook status she and her bloke make and ready to read all sorts into whatever they say. Today for example she sent me a message telling me that they had got the house they have applied to rent. Good news, only I then noticed that he had written 'Way hay' on his status and then when someone commented he had followed it up with 'YEAH, its not quite the biggest 'Way Hay!@ thats still to come :)' which just made me think he is talking about her being pregnant. So starts all the 'what if she's pregnant, how will she tell me, please don't let them come here and tell me, please let them tell me in an email' sort've stuff.  I know that I will be really hit hard if they announce a pregnancy. I know that sounds mean but I just know that it will hit me really hard and I am begining to wonder if they will know how to handle it in the right way. Is there even a 'right way' and do I actually think the right way would be for me to get pregnant first and then them? Sure I do.

I want to be able to talk to her about it, to explain that if they do get pregnant I really would rather they tell me in an email than rock up here all happy and excited to tell me about it in person because that would be my absolute worst nightmare. How do I tell them though?

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