Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Long time no blog. Just been a bit hectic plus I have had nothing major to moan about so there we go. Still waiting to hear about both the IUI and the funding decision. Not sure when I should start chasing them but am thinking if I don't hear anything then it's probably best to give myself a break from worrying about it and just start chasing in the New Year.

I had a letter yesterday about getting a loan through Halifax. While I think it would be good to get rid of all my small debts I just wonder is it really a good idea to start thinking about taking out a big loan? D seems very keen as he thinks we could do some house improvements (We need new windows) and I think perhaps we should go for it and just have IVF - but the thought of owing £300+ a month for the next 4-5 years!

Not sure also if I mentioned that I got my FSH repeated test back and in 9 months I have gone from 12.5 - 16 which is bad news. They say they might not recommend IUI but would rather I have IUI. Guess I will have to wait on the funding decision before I panic.

Monday, December 07, 2009

The future's not bright

So I made the mistake of calling for my FSH results. Not good news. I had a level of 12.5 in Feb but now, 9 months later (oh the Irony), it's 16! So basically I think the general feeling is that I am fucked. The nurse I spoke to said that with that level they would be more likely to suggest IVF than IUI. We just can't do IVF though - not unless someone gives us £4000. I still have my AMH test to come back which they say will give them a better idea but it wasn't fantastic before. I wish I had never asked for the tests to be repeated, ignorance is bliss.

I think I have to come to terms with the fact that it's just never going to happen. Oh I have so much to write but really what's the point in wallowing on this crap. I may as well get used to the fact that I will never have children and start prepring myself for when everyone else around me starts pushing out baby after baby. Ruth wants to meet up some time but at the moment it couldn't come at a worse time. Mum is meeting me for lunch on Thursday but I just want to cancel as I don't want to talk about it and neither do I want to 'not talk about it'