Wednesday, November 18, 2009

An Education

what is probably good news for many many women in Wales is just distressing news for me. I have once again been set on a path of googling and worrying. I am not eligable for this new round of free IVF because I was never eligable for free IVF. They class the point of referral as the date you first see them rather than the date the GP has sent a letter. So I, as we all know, Missed the 38 years and 6 month cut off date by just a couple of months. I was never going to get it for free. I don't even know if at almost 40 I will be able to have it privately or how long that will take. I have never been put on any waiting list, not even for private treatment and I feel this has never been explained properly to me.

I am going to see them on Tuesday and have a list of questions and all the relevant info is written down:

March 2008 – 21 day test 6.3 (18-28)

Repeated later (Not sure of results but showed I ovulated)

28th Sept 2008 letter RE referral

21st January 2009 – First appointment with IVF Wales

Feb 09 - 3 day blood test (FSH) 12.2

11th March 2009 – HSG

March 2009 - AMH test 10.5

Clomid – April

12th May 2009 – positive pregnancy test

4th June 2009 – Scan showed no heartbeat

12th June 2009 – measuring only 6.2 weeks and still no hearbeat

14th June 2009 – miscarriage

I have also just noticed that they have a counsellor there at IVF wales and yet, not even when I had my miscarriage, I have never been offered their services. I feel like for some reason they just don't want to help me. I have worked myself up into a tizz now, not what I am supposed to be doing.  D says we can pay but can we really - can we afford up to £4000 for aomething like IVF and will we have to first spend £1000 on IUI?  I realy hate this, I don't want to be constantly reminded of other people's good fortune. I just want a little bit of good fortune for myself for a change.
Went to see this last night. was very good.

later: I had a bit of an email conversation with Dale's Sister-in-law, Vic, about the whole process. She has been trying for a bay for 8 years. She got pregnant through IVF early in the year but miscarried. I suppose I shouldn't get so worked up about my situation but I am older than her and I am just so worried. This has become such a big part of my life and I hate it. Perhaps I am just too old, perhaps I should give up.

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