Thursday, November 12, 2009

don't think about it

I hate Clomid so it's probably a good thing that this month is my last but one, eh? Have been having some weird head aches this month, not sleeping well, waking up feeling groggy etc. We have the appointment with the consultant on 24th November and I guess we will then move onto IUI. Just been told that someone I know has just got pregnant through IUI. Not sure if this is suposed to make me feel hopeful or not. I am trying so hard not to obsess about my situation and to just get on with life but I am still having those moments where I have to repeat the mantra 'don't cry, don't cry' and where I have to actively dismiss the negative thoughts which creep in... 'don't think about it, don't think about it, don't talk about it for fuck's sake don't talk about it'... Then someone always comes along with some advice or some inspirational story to fuck it all up.

One thing which worries me about IUI is that the timing has to be so exact. I am guessing that each procedure can only be done once in a month and so the £500+ you pay for a 'round' of IUI is for one insemination. Also the site I linked to above says "In a given cycle, the possibility of conception is 10% to 20% provided the sperm count is good and the female has a healthy fallopian tube. The woman’s age is also a deciding factor on the success rate, since advanced maternal age results in fewer follicles maturing into eggs." and also more worryingly that you have to be under 40. I am 40 in 5 months so if there is a waiting list I really don't know what I will do. ... and now I am winding myself up about it all again 'don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it'

In other news D is sanding the bathroom and Hallway and the stairs. just found out that 'there is dust everywhere' and it seems it's because him and his brother have sanded with the doors to different rooms open! We have 2 people staying with us this weekend (d's friends) and I spent last night making sure the place was at least presentable and telling him to make sure the doors were shut while they sanded but now I just can't be arsed because it seems like when I get home there's going to be a film of wood dust all over everything . I just think I will leave it as it is, let him deal with it if he's going to have people around-  why should I waste my time and energy clearing up something which could have been prevented? I knew there would be some dust but FFS.

No comments: